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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Advice > Stuffing the Broad
Stuffing the Broad   by Diana Dillinger

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With Thanksgiving behind us, it's time to reclaim the real meaning of “stuffing the bird.” While I know this is an innocent phrase, I’m such a nympho that I can’t help fixating on the word “stuffing.” My dirty little mind goes straight to my own mouth, pussy, and ass. “Mmmm… I’d like to get properly stuffed this year,” I thought as turkeys got stuffed all over America, and immediately I started dreaming up plots to get my hungry holes stuffed-to-bursting.

I know a lot of people like to do their “stuffing” play with fists, but I’ve always preferred toys to keep that element of self-control. This means I’m going to need a couple of toys, and I’m going to need a research assistant to help out. (As you may or may not know, I have a constant parade of research assistants coming and going in my life. They are diverse, but they always share these characteristics: They are smart. They are sexy. They are friendly. They play safe.)

For the toys, I’m hitting ExtremeRestraints.com, a website that partners with AdultFriendFinder.com to bring you guys the best and hottest sex toys on the market. I contact them through the proper channels and ask for the 5 special items that are going to make this story great. They say YES. For the helper, I get on the phone and give Brandon a ring. He’s low-key yet sexy, has helped me before, and reliably makes me drool. I explain the set-up, and he cheerfully agrees to come over, strip down, and help his good pal Diana get stuffed like a turkey. As soon as the toys come, we can start to cum!



Toy 1: LUBE APPLICATOR


My first reaction:
“Ooooh, it’s just like a turkey baster!”

Why we used it:
Proper lubrication is essential for any kind of play where there is going to be stretching, friction, or pressure.

What happened:
“Ass up, face down, Diana,” drawled Brandon, so I dropped my sexy little drawers and pointed my bottom skywards. He screwed the nozzle on, dipped the applicator deep into a bottle of Eros lube, and squeezed a good amount up into my pussy. I squealed with approval ‒ what woman hasn’t wished she could get the lube more up inside herself? ‒ and Brandon used the opportunity to squirt a second syringe-full of lubricant up my butt.

Our opinions:
Diana: “Radical. I am fully and deeply lubed. Bring on the other toys!”
Brandon: “It was really fun and easy to fill Diana’s holes up with the lube. No muss, no fuss!”



Toy 2: INFLATABLE DILDO
http://www.extremerestraints.com/inflatable-dildo_156.html

My first reaction:
“It gets… even bigger?”

Why we used it:
In spite of this dildo’s imposing looks, inflatable toys are all the rage for achieving that “super-full feeling,” which some people adore. We wanted to see what the buzz was about.

What happened:
Brandon set me up on my back with my legs pulled up slut-style to accept this giant toy. It’s a heavy-duty eight-incher that can pump up to a greater width. The dildo slid in nicely, and filled me up, which is when I started to have doubts about inflating it. But Brandon, who was in charge of the bulb, had no such doubts! “Relax and accept it, Diana,” he said, pumping away as the dildo swelled, stretching me out. We spent a very pleasurable 20 minutes or so inflating it to full capacity, then rocking my body back and forth on it until I finally screamed in ecstasy.

Our opinions:
Diana: “This thing is absolutely wicked. Please do not bring it out at parties. I will not be able to control my desires.”
Brandon: “Diana went mad for this dildo. The look alone -- she went nuts over the fetish-y look and the veins. Once I inserted it and starting pumping, it was all over. She loves being pumped FULL.”




Toy 3: INFLATABLE RUBBER PENIS GAG
http://www.extremerestraints.com/inflatable-rubber-penis-gag_519.html


My first reaction:
“That thing is making me drool helplessly.”

Why we used it:
I have an uncontrollable oral fetish. I couldn’t resist ordering this toy off of Extreme Restraints.

What happened:
What happened was that I found out that there is a dramatic difference between 1.25 inches (the width of the penis gag when it is not inflated) and 2 inches (the width of the penis gag when it is utterly ruling my brain). That’s right… I’m a mouth slut. And the more my mouth is stuffed, the sluttier I get. This gag strapped onto my head and then swelled up just like a real cock getting erect… yum.

Our opinions:
Diana: “My pussy got soooo wet when Brandon stuffed this pumped up toy inside my mouth. Being orally stuffed is total gratification for me.”
Brandon: “During sex, Diana is a well-known babbler, but she couldn’t say a WORD when I puffed this thing up to the max. Her cheeks were bulging but she had a content look in her eyes. That girl loves to suck on the cock… real or fake… she doesn’t even care.”



Toy 4: ENEMA SYRINGE
http://www.extremerestraints.com/enema-syringe_168.html


My first reaction:
“Uhhh. Brandon. I was actually meaning to use this on you. Hey… Brandon… are you even listening to me?”

Why we used it:
Industrial is sexy. Metallic is sexy. Super-industrial polished-metal enema accessories are the sexiest of all! This baby has a super-cool plunging mechanism that sends 8 ounces of flow straight up your rectum.

What happened:
Brandon dominated the discussion and somehow convinced sex-addled me to accept the enema. (This would have never happened had I not just cum from the inflatable dildo.) I was sweet-talked into letting him flush several ounces of warm water up inside me… once I was fully stuffed and nicely cleaned out, I voided my bowels like a good girl.

Our opinions:
Diana: “I was NOT into the idea of getting an enema today, but this toy gave me that full feeling I crave. It felt good to just submissively accept the strong flow of water.”
Brandon: “I knew she’d love it. And now she’s totally clean for the final toy.”



Toy 5: PYREX BUTT PLUG
http://www.extremerestraints.com/pyrex-butt-plug_1630.html

My first reaction:
“That’s the prettiest, sexiest little thing I’ve ever seen.”

Why we used it:
Because I needed to get my pretty ass plugged to truly consider myself “fully stuffed.”

What happened:
Brandon gently warmed me up with some gloved fingers and made sure that the lube was still deep inside my asshole from the lube applicator (it was). After a little preliminary stretching, he worked three thick inches of this butt plug up inside of me. When my ass is stretched really hard, I feel it’s easier to cum, since I’m already straining hard over something…. then, being urged in the direction of an orgasm is faster and more intense. Brandon knows this perfectly well, so he strummed my clit hard while wiggling the plug until I completely gave up and had a mind-blowing orgasm right in his lap.

Our opinions:
Diana: “It’s such a girly thing to say, but I love the pretty red-and-amber tones of this piece. Pyrex is also simple to clean and sterilize.”
Brandon: “Oh, come off the aesthetics… you love this plug because it got you off big-time.”
Diana: “Okay, okay! It’s true. I loved being stuffed just as much as I thought I would.”



SAFETY TIPS
Regarding inflatable gags: Always make sure your partner is able to breathe. Do not over inflate gags.

Regarding insertable toys: Always use lubricant. Always cover toy with a condom. Always clean after use.