Me me me meme  

TicklePlease 51F  
3291 posts
7/12/2018 3:57 pm
Me me me meme

(Seriously, is the site eating the "I Am" contraction now?)

I've been on a meme roll today… this one keeps cracking me up. It’s so perfect for the past few days for me.

Ok, week.

Since the whole SCOTUS Kennedy retirement announcement to be honest but that’s a whole different blog. That this coming Monday represents the first of a figuratively large flight of steps for me, just makes it even more apt of a meme!

Plus, Thomas.

I mean… Who doesn’t still scream “YOU’RE CAUSING CONFUSION AND DELAY!” at stupid people in traffic? Right?



Anyway, just because you know a path is a good one, that it’s legit, researched, and you know you’ve got this, and you’ve got people who’ve got your back…. doesn’t mean it’s anxiety free, especially when the step is for you and you alone. Going forward means recognizing (fuck) that things must change. Honestly… it’s easier to just ignore and complain but that’s just not realistic. That’s also why I'm a board member on our community association. Taking a “skill” though, and turning it into a “business” for me now that the “business” of being mom is downsizing is a logical but fucking scary step. Balancing that with the rest of life means trying not to overthink while making sure you haven’t forgotten something important! Compartmentalizing has never been my strong suit and putting myself first as an individual is something that, frankly, I'm not really skilled at even though I suffer from high self-esteem. I'm appreciative for friends who remind me that I know I can do it and that a problem shared is not always a problem doubled.

BUT… on the outside? Fuck yeah, I have that shit together and I am going to KILL these next two weeks in Boston! ^5

On the goal topic again, about two and a half months out from the 5k. Am in the doubt phase and considering a mile walk instead of a 5k. Probably relative to either the ridiculously hot temperatures lately or maybe the current emotional going-ons but I'm getting in a mile and a quarter in 24 minutes.

How do you counter self-doubting thoughts?

I’ve posted pictures of this waterfall in a blog ago but it’s worthy of a repost since I hiked there again recently. Kilgore Falls in Maryland, the second highest waterfall in the state.

And what's a better way to celebrate a hike to a waterfall than.... meat. Right? Say hello to my leeetle 24 oz, 45 day aged porterhouse.

iwant2learnit 48M  
451 posts
7/12/2018 4:15 pm

Should it be at all surprising that as of the time I'm typing this, a little after 7 PM on July 12, there are no pictures of the waterfall or the 24 oz porterhouse (that one hurts the worst) showing up on your blog post? More A F F fuckery going on...

Self-doubt? I got yer self-doubt right here lady. Ohhhhhhh (Andrew Dice Clay voice)

I currently have plenty of self-doubting thoughts about whether my 3D modeling work is going to get me hired at a video game or animation studio. Did I waste three years and run up a bunch of student loan debt - for nothing?? There are a couple projects I'm working on that will replace the last of the sub-par work that's currently in my portfolio. Once those are done, I have to duct tape those self-doubting thoughts to a giant stick of Acme dynamite and blow them up like Wile E. Coyote, minus the massive amount of bodily harm he seemed incapable of avoiding.

There is a growing list of studios I'm going to be applying to that I've compiled from job listings on indeed .com and the where my portfolio is. Some are in CA, some in TX, at least one in Vancouver BC, I can't remember at the moment where the rest are, but I'm going to be casting a wide net and hoping that results in me landing a job.

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 4:20 pm:
I'm not surprised about the pics.... the site was being wonky as the blog was posting.

You'll just have to take my word for it in the meantime that the waterfall is gorgeous and my meat is succulent.

*chuckling @ the Diceman

I'll keep your dynamite thought handy for future self-doubt demolition, thanks!

Greyhawk47 48M

7/12/2018 4:37 pm

The pictures are gorgeous I would love to be eating that porterhouse at those falls... that would be nice.

As far as the doubt I just have myself refocus on the goal and tell myself I WILL succeed. You know, fake it til you make it. I would say go for the 5k it sounds like to me you can knock it out.

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 5:50 pm:
Thanks, the steak was ridiculously tasty, well worth the price! I guess that energy spent refocusing IS worth it... wish my energy tank was bigger! Thanks for the comment and the reminder!

s2ndegree 60M  
8877 posts
7/12/2018 4:42 pm

I think you will do Just fine.

As you blow people off the starting line.

You won't even be looking back.

You'll beat your own time as you take that

Checkered flag!

(Sung to the Thomas the train song!)

Good luck!

Using more than all the road!

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 5:52 pm:

That's awesome! I'm going to be hearing that jangly old-west piano now while I'm walking! Talk about keeping a beat!


redrockrascal 60M
19736 posts
7/12/2018 4:53 pm

When I lived in L.A. I always did my workouts (run, bike swim) with a friend. He was a very good swimmer I was the better biker so it was competition to some degree. Plus there was a real good soup/salad place at the end of the workouts.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 5:55 pm:
Funny you should say that. I have a workout partner. Normally we've been at the gym and on the treadmill but with this 5k coming up, we've moved to the jogging trail. On the treadmill, I can keep up. Outside, not so much. They're tall and in the military and I'm.... not. It's been a cruel few days trying to accommodate both our exercise needs and we've finally figured it out to where they get a workout and I stay alive.

NewName62 56M
11752 posts
7/12/2018 4:55 pm

You can do it.

After you do it, you will have an empowering sense of accomplishment.

I have accepted the anxiety that comes before I'm called to lift that 1-5 pounds more on the barbell. But every time I come out on the other side...that empowering sense of accomplishment.

Nice score marks. Props for charcoal instead of gas.

Aaaaand...I just got hard.

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 5:57 pm:
Given the insane amount of weight that I know you lift.... you make a persuasive point. Thanks!

pocogato12 66F  
26850 posts
7/12/2018 6:22 pm

Did you save a twin of that meat for me???YUM
The last time I had a self doubt was when the store manager told me one
morning" you are running the front end today". I had been in the cash office for 7 months, never been on the floor, didn't know how the walkies worked, and had no idea even how to open the doors, never mind run a 25 tandem register store. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 7:18 pm:
It was ridiculously good.... so good I might even go pony up the full price for another one at the butcher! I had a gift certificate to spend there for this one but man, I'm tempted.

They threw you into the deep end, not the front end it sounds like!

CleavageFan4U 62M  
56811 posts
7/12/2018 6:32 pm

Self doubt - me? - haaa, you're hilarious!

The new path? WTF did I miss? That's rhetorical - I know I didn't miss anything, not here anyway - maybe on FB? What news are you trying to ease us in to?

Fitness, on HNW
UNESCO World Heritage Sites in the US
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Private Cleavage My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 7:19 pm:
Yeah yeah, someone's gotta represent the uber-confident!

No "new" path, just turning what has been a part of my job into THE business, in MY name and looking towards a future where I call my shots.

GimmeAThrill 50M
24048 posts
7/12/2018 7:26 pm

You only conquer self-doubt by fighting it every step of the way. And after enough fighting, it might go away, but if not, it will become a wimp.

I'm going to be in Salt Lake City from 8/3 to 8/10, with a good chunk of free time on 8/8 and 8/9. Any chance you're gonna be out that way?

Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 7:32 pm:
Sounds like the Chuck Norris school of self doubt removal!

No luck on Utah for me, are you going out for the games? Competing?

HeartCollector 61F  
7331 posts
7/12/2018 8:11 pm

5K...good luck with that, I’ll be rooting from the stands.

The gladdest hours we know are those shared with a friend or two. Wilbur D. Nesbit

TicklePlease replies on 7/13/2018 6:11 am:
Toss me a water and a shot of that blackberry ginger balsamic please!!

Golly06 66M  
1822 posts
7/12/2018 8:40 pm

I don't get upset at other drivers. I figure we are all on the same highway doing our best. Kind of takes care of the self-doubt at the same time; or there is the time-honored FIDO (Fuck It and Drive On),. I don't know how people can function without a little self-doubt, so I just welcome it as normal. Beautiful falls! Something about a woman drooling over a piece of meat... just makes me smile.

TicklePlease replies on 7/13/2018 6:14 am:
I like that FIDO thing! I'm definitely going to remember that one, thanks Golly!!!

maybejustrex4 52M  
2595 posts
7/13/2018 5:27 am

Fuck Nike for trademarking a perfectly good piece of life advice. Still, it is the answer...

I think the fear of failure gets too much press. Go ahead. Fail. You try a business out of a skill and if it works, wonderful...if not, next effort! You sign up for the 5k and if you walk about bunch of it, fine. If that 8 year old in the jean shorts beats you, good for him (the little fucker)--although that might be a bit personal...

Guess what? if you try and fail, you have done more than the 99.5% of people who never, and I mean ever, try.

TicklePlease replies on 7/13/2018 6:19 am:
You're a smart cookie there.... Pecan Cindie level.

Fear in general gets too much press. I'm guilty of giving it too many inches in the daily brainpaper. Again, thank goodness for friends.

iwant2learnit 48M  
451 posts
7/13/2018 6:04 am

I come back a little over 12 hours later and there they are - pictures!!

You're right, that is a great picture of the waterfall, and your meat does look very tasty...not as tasty as you, from what I recall, but I'd still enthusiastically devour it.

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

TicklePlease replies on 7/13/2018 6:21 am:
Now you've got me thinking about a "grill marks" costume for the next risque halloween party!!!!

GimmeAThrill 50M
24048 posts
7/13/2018 6:10 am

TicklePlease replies on 7/12/2018 10:32 pm:
Sounds like the Chuck Norris school of self doubt removal!

No luck on Utah for me, are you going out for the games? Competing?

Yes and yes. Not in anything like Track and Field, but competing. I'll try and be in shape to do track and cycling stuff for the World Games in Houston next year.

Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.

TicklePlease replies on 7/13/2018 8:37 am:
That's great Gimme!!! I'm sure I'll be seeing pics and all right?!

That's a much loftier goal than mine - you rock!

kukoocock 49M
5811 posts
7/13/2018 9:56 am

I haven't slept well in two days I read the words and my brain does not compute. However I do like the Tommy meme if that helps

I like the waterfall tool.

I must go someplace where there is a waterfall and take a picture. Bye now.

I promise to come back when I stop thinking like a two year old with sleep deprivation.

Also nice cramilisation.

Spell check does not recognize my linguistics of steak descriptions type stuff.

I am still here aren't I? Bye. I said that already. Your will be fine Tickele!

There are two kinds of light, the glow that illuminates & the glare that obscures. James Thurber

TicklePlease replies on 7/13/2018 1:43 pm:
to you K! Hang in there, sleep will come around sure!

I'm using your cramilisation word next time I have the opportunity, thank you so much!

clm_21017 48M  
1043 posts
7/13/2018 12:54 pm

Kilgore falls is 30 mins from me, but never been water is always to "dirty" to slpash in. There is another sight very close to the falls called the kings and queens seat, rocky outcrop great views

TicklePlease replies on 7/13/2018 1:45 pm:
Nah, it's not "dirty" lol.... there were a ton of people swimming when I was there, I can't believe I found a moment where nobody was in the picture! I've been to the area you're talking about, hiked up there years ago... definitely worth seeing again now that you mention it!

smartasswoman 61F  
30709 posts
7/13/2018 2:17 pm

On first reading, your paragraph about "just because you know a path is a good one" confused me, so I didn't comment. Not that your writing was confusing, it just seemed like you were being discreet about a situation to which I'm not privy to the details...

But I came back just to look at the steak again It does indeed look fantastic!

TicklePlease replies on 7/14/2018 4:21 am:
Yeah, I can see that... Plus there's the damn disappearing letter combo and words on top of my vaguebooking!

No big discreet situation other than it's work related and since I'll be taking my work from the state and starting my own company I'm leery of putting that out there in a public blog since not a lot of people do what I'm going to be doing. Jeez. That was pretty vague too. Sorry.

I'm glad you came back!

misskissin 55F  
77222 posts
7/13/2018 3:49 pm

Damn now I am hungry for steak!!!

TicklePlease replies on 7/14/2018 4:21 am:
I don't know if I can go back to regular grocery store steak now.

Oh who am I kidding, of course I can!!! I'm not THAT much of a meat snob.


26273 posts
7/13/2018 5:09 pm

A mile and a quarter, in 24 minutes, is a great pace. I'm sure you will be able to complete the 5K.

If I can, at age 64, and 80 pounds overweight - you sure can !

Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.

TicklePlease replies on 7/14/2018 4:24 am:
The next day I got to 1.8 miles in 35 minutes. I had some good inspiration.

Baby steps. And, while you may have the "advantage" of age on me, I think we'd have to flip a coin on the "who's more overweight" part! But we won't dwell on that, congrats to you for doing it and I'll add you to my motivation pool!

smartasswoman 61F  
30709 posts
7/14/2018 6:04 am

No worries, I used to vague-blog about work too!

Now that I’m retired there is not much left to be discreet about anymore

TicklePlease replies on 7/14/2018 3:20 pm:
I look forward to being able to entertain just the thought of being indiscreet lol!

ArglBargl14 56M
258 posts
7/14/2018 7:46 am

Holy carp - 24 oz!?!?! Surprised you're not still in a meat coma.

Was never a fan of "dry aged" beef, though grilling over charcoal/wood makes everything better. Throw a couple ears of sweet corn on there and it's dinner.

Maazel tov on the 5k, young lady! And the bidness.

TicklePlease replies on 7/14/2018 3:23 pm:
Well.... I DID have to split it with the spouse. Seeing as how it was technically (bought with) an anniversary gift (certificate) from a girlfriend.

This was the first time I ever cooked a dry aged steak and honestly I think I did WAY better than the last restaurant I had one at. *brushes imaginary lint off lapel)

Thank you, thank you very much.

GratefulGirl69 49F

7/14/2018 7:57 am

Self-doubting is rough. You have to do enough of it to make sure you've got the bases covered, but not so much that you're paralyzed into inaction or other self-sabotaging behaviors.

I'm a high self-doubting, his self-esteem person, too... and I lean on the latter when the former starts reaching daunting proportions. There's something I tell myself (and others) at those times, like a motto or mantra:

"I believe that I can do anything, until proven otherwise."

You got this.

And mmmmm meat...

TicklePlease replies on 7/14/2018 3:26 pm:
I'm glad you understand the push-pull of... we'll call it HighSDSE syndrome. I like your motto, I'm working on re-categorizing roadblocks from the proof category to the inconvenience one. Thanks!

SeaGirlFL 55F
7952 posts
7/14/2018 7:06 pm

Of course you're anxious about going out on your own. You would not be human if you weren't.

Countering self-doubts...I suck at that. I've got no help for you on that one.

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black

TicklePlease replies on 7/15/2018 4:20 pm:
That's ok... just stand with me come fall and the FSU football season... there's some folks 'round these parts who want to smack talk! I'm looking at that Clemson fan GimmeAThrill!

SeaGirlFL 55F
7952 posts
7/15/2018 4:36 pm

TicklePlease replies on 7/15/2018 7:20 pm:
That's ok... just stand with me come fall and the FSU football season... there's some folks 'round these parts who want to smack talk! I'm looking at that Clemson fan GimmeAThrill!

Hell yes, Sister! Go Noles!!

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black

TicklePlease replies on 7/17/2018 2:51 am:

wickedeasy 69F  
32201 posts
7/16/2018 11:47 am

kick ass...………..see you for dinner

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

TicklePlease replies on 7/17/2018 2:52 am:
Day one: I'm learning patience as well as the technical stuff. Tell you all about it soon!

sexysixties2 71F  
38175 posts
7/17/2018 12:10 pm

All will be fine just you wait and see.

Can you really eat a 24oz steak???

"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age."
~~~ Anais Nin ~~~

TicklePlease replies on 7/17/2018 12:43 pm:
I'm trying to keep telling myself that! Thanks for the help, I can use it this week!!!

(the steak was bought with a gift card that a girlfriend of mine and her mom had given the husband and me as an anniversary gift so I haaaaaad to share it. It might have taken me two sittings but yes, I'd have gladly eaten the whole thing, it was THAT good!!)

lindoboy100 56M
20224 posts
8/17/2018 6:09 am

Self-doubt is a killer for me, well, not a killer, but it does fill me with dread.......and then I get on and do it and it's fine........every fucking time, but do I ever learn?

Good luck with your 5K. Looks like a lovely spot, yon waterfall.

Hope ye're well otherwise m'dear!!

Wake up and hold yer noses.........

TicklePlease replies on 8/18/2018 4:37 am:
Just getting ready to post a check-in.... I've been traveling nonstop for almost 6 weeks now!!!! (am doubting the 5k at this point lol)

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