How many pushups can Chuck Norris do?  

TicklePlease 51F  
3291 posts
1/31/2019 4:06 pm
How many pushups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.





In about three months I'll be attending a destination 5k with my workout partner! The Inaugural Chuck Norris 5k, in Texas of course, where we'll be attempting to set a world record for the most people dressed like Chuck! We're thinking of going a slightly offbeat route and trying THIS...



In honor of that, I've collected a few of my favorite Chuck Norris facts:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.



Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.



Chuck Norris can speak braille. (Like me )



The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before he goes to bed at night.



Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.



Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on, he turns the dark off.



In alcohol news I treated myself to a local winery/brewery/distillery tour and got to try Aquavit for the first time. Good stuff! Distilled 8 times... here's the distiller:



The growler fill machine at one of the breweries reminded me of yet another Chuck Norris Fact...

MC Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.



Do you have a favorite Chuck Norris Fact?

TicklePlease 51F  
11968 posts
1/31/2019 4:19 pm

Unrelated but shareable nonetheless. By "drawingolive" on Instagram.

"Closeness Lines Over Time"
[image]


iwant2learnit 48M  
451 posts
1/31/2019 5:08 pm

I'm not sure if these facts are accurate, but I'm not going to second guess Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

When Chuck Norris steps on LEGO, it cries.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
- Thomas Henry Huxley


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 1:44 am:
I hadn't heard the Victoria's Secret one before!

ltrskr 71M  
3205 posts
1/31/2019 5:24 pm

Chuck Norris once ask a question, God said Yes, of course!


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 1:45 am:
Of course!!!!!!

HeartCollector 61F  
7331 posts
1/31/2019 5:51 pm

I had no idea how much I didn’t know about Chuck Norris...

The gladdest hours we know are those shared with a friend or two. Wilbur D. Nesbit


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 1:45 am:
But Chuck Norris knew.

PAWAPh 43M
6085 posts
1/31/2019 7:04 pm

*When Alexander Graham Bell Invented The Phone He Had Three Missed Calls From Chuck*

Jack


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 1:45 am:
Another good one, they're endless aren't they?!

CleavageFan4U 62M  
56811 posts
1/31/2019 7:12 pm

What the Chuck?

Doing My Own Thing, on HNW
Droning On and On
CBT From the Pros
Private Cleavage My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 1:46 am:
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live...

superbjversion2 64F  
15427 posts
1/31/2019 7:30 pm

That distiller ....Chuck Norris' bassoon.

I put the sex in sexagenarian


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 1:46 am:
Win!!!!


GimmeAThrill 50M
24048 posts
1/31/2019 7:45 pm

Chuck Noriss' tears can cure cancer, but Chuck Norris never cries.

Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 1:47 am:

mc_justmc 59M  
4669 posts
2/1/2019 5:30 am

Those Chuck Norris memes are hilarious, but I like the life lines, too. The dog one is kind of sad. Where is the 5K, I haven't heard anything about it, not that I could do it. I'm good for about 2 miles, then I gotta sit down.


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 7:14 am:
I know... the dog one got me too. The 5k is in College Station and I'm not running lol, I'm just walking briskly!!!

sexysixties2 71F  
38175 posts
2/1/2019 6:23 am

Good luck with the 5K....I'm sorry I'm not a Chuck Norris fan at all.....backing away quickly before I get a clatter!

"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age."
~~~ Anais Nin ~~~


TicklePlease replies on 2/1/2019 7:18 am:
Thanks and yeah... I'm not the biggest fan of his tv/movie characters over the years but it's hard to not get a kick out of the memes.

Golly06 66M  
1822 posts
2/1/2019 1:47 pm

Haha...hahaaa! I think I actually dated Chuck Norris' biggest fan at one time!

Fact: A Chuck Norris movie and a bottle of wine + one woman = Mmm
(Thank you Chuck!)


TicklePlease replies on 2/2/2019 7:13 am:
I did not know that fact so in case I find myself with a bottle of wine and a Chuck Norris movie, I'll be prepared!

SeaGirlFL 55F
7947 posts
2/1/2019 7:42 pm

Those Chuck Norris tidbits are awesome!!

I love the lines...so cool....

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black


TicklePlease replies on 2/2/2019 7:15 am:
I can't WAIT to see 5,000 people dressed as Chuck Norris!!! The jokes are going to write themselves!

maybejustrex4 52M  
2595 posts
2/4/2019 7:30 am

Absolutely love "does not turn the light on, he turns the dark off."


TicklePlease replies on 2/4/2019 12:06 pm:
I was JUST thinking about that today when I had to turn my flashlight on!

scottj55555 51M
1962 posts
2/4/2019 1:26 pm

I always wonder if Chuck now sits at a computer all day making up these memes.


TicklePlease replies on 2/4/2019 6:18 pm:
I'm sure there's a fact somewhere about that!

kukoocock 49M
5811 posts
2/5/2019 1:36 am

Interesting how closeness lines could make me a bit teary eyed in places. I like the idea hadn't seen it before.

I have no new Chuck facts but memories maybe. Going to see a teen movie but they cancelled the supposed to be shown preview movie and we got to see The Octagon which I probably wasn't old enough to be watching...not quite Flashdance was it...anyhow

Also was on holidays it the not too distant past and there was only one channel in English and all they showed was Walker Texas Ranger and NCIS. I read a lot in the evenings

Happy racing Tickle Chuck will inspire you no doubt!



There are two kinds of light, the glow that illuminates & the glare that obscures. James Thurber


TicklePlease replies on 2/5/2019 3:22 am:
I was the same way! Such a simple graphic but so.... poignant.

(I'm hoping I survive his high-five at the end! )

lindoboy100 56M
20224 posts
2/5/2019 1:48 am

I do love a good Chuck flick, a legend in his own beard for sure!!

Wake up and hold yer noses.........


TicklePlease replies on 2/5/2019 3:23 am:
And second-to-none in the silly jokes department too!

dumplin6969 61F  
144 posts
2/7/2019 8:00 am

So I guess you are in training now for the 5K? You better imbibe all the Aquavit or other adult beverages while you still can. Skoal!

Come to my blog!
dumplin6969


TicklePlease replies on 2/7/2019 2:42 pm:
Wait? You mean I'm not supposed to bring a bottle of Aquavit with me to drink while I'm walking?

Crap.

Basilikummen 42M
933 posts
2/8/2019 3:59 pm

5k? More power to you!

Chuck Norris kicks it old school. (Insert picture of one of his million-plus roundhouse kicks here.)

Even an herb as sweet as basil is nothing without its bite.
Lord Basil


TicklePlease replies on 2/9/2019 7:04 am:
Oh I'm not running it.... I'm walking it.

Unless Chuck tells me to!

Basilikummen 42M
933 posts
2/8/2019 4:02 pm

"Wait? You mean I'm not supposed to bring a bottle of Aquavit with me to drink while I'm walking? "

Beer hats can hold Aquavit too. Just sayin'.

Chuck Norris would have one ... if the beer didn't come to him.

Even an herb as sweet as basil is nothing without its bite.
Lord Basil


TicklePlease replies on 2/9/2019 7:05 am:


I'll have to keep my eye out for a beer hat! Maybe one with adidas stripes, just to keep the athletic look!

CynicusMaximus 47M
1724 posts
2/10/2019 12:00 pm

Lol, this is going to be so awesome


TicklePlease replies on 2/11/2019 1:49 pm:
I'm shopping for a nun costume already...

CynicusMaximus 47M
1724 posts
2/11/2019 6:37 pm

TOTALLY unrelated story:

In my senior year in high school. I got my mom to make me a nun costume and i went to school for halloween dressed as a pregnant nun.

I was almost suspended but this other guy dressed in drag and walked into the girl's restroom. For four years after i graduated, i heard one guy dressed as a pregnant nun for halloween.

I start shit.


TicklePlease replies on 2/12/2019 6:34 am:
Ya big blashphemer you!

When I was in college at FSU, a bunch of us trucked over to Mardi Gras one year and my roomate's aunt dressed as a nun with a shit-ton of makeup on (she was a smoker too) and lord did she get some beads that parade!!

mature_951 57F  
3275 posts
2/13/2019 2:51 pm

after a hard night of partying, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, Chuck throws down

"You can stroke people with words."


TicklePlease replies on 2/14/2019 4:49 am:
That's excellent!!!!!

resant78 40M/74F
2325 posts
3/17/2019 5:54 am

Chuck Norris was once bit by a snake, and after several excruciating hours, the snake succumbed to it's injuries.

Or something like that, I remember 'chuck'ling at that one. (unintended pun!)

Good for you on that 5K! have fun!


TicklePlease replies on 3/17/2019 7:11 am:
Thanks... No joke makes you chuckle more than a Chuck Norris joke. They're all afraid to.

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