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Should I Share This Story With Friends?
Posted:Apr 26, 2019 8:56 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2019 8:09 pm
295 Views

When I was a freshman in college while walking to class, I noticed a female student standing outside her car with a flat tire. I walked over to help, offering to change the tire. It urned out she was a senior and in order to get to class on time she told me to carry her books and change the tire after her class. I smiled and agreed. After my class, I ran over to her building . On the way back to her car she told me this joke:

A senior woman was chatting up an enthusiastic and unsophisticated, new freshman.

After they've been talking a while, she asks him "Do you know the difference between tortellini and cunnilingus?"

"No," he replies.

"Good," she says, "Let's go to lunch."

I smiled, although I didn't get the punchline. She laughed at me bemused.

"hurry up and fix the tire", she said. "I'm taking you back to my apartment. Your having tortellini for lunch"

Please vote and share your thoughts - Thanks
Women - Yes, Share It
Women - No keep the story to yourself
Men - Yes, share it
Men - No, keep the story to yourself
0 Comments , 1 vote
Is This Joke Funny?
Posted:Apr 26, 2019 8:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2019 9:17 am
307 Views

Little Red Riding Hood goes out into the forest, but this time she's hiding a .44 in her package of goodies, ready for action.

The wolf follows her into the woods and grabs her from behind. 'Now that I've got you I'm going to fuck you until dawn,' he growls.

Little Red Riding Hood pulls out the .44, holding it to his head she announces
'No you're not. You're going to eat me like the story said. Get on your knees and get started now!'"

Please vote and share your thoughts - Thanks and have a wonderful day!
Women - Yes, it is Funny. Do I need a license to get a .44?
Women - Yes, and more men should pay attention to the moral of this story
Women - Yes
Women - No
Men - Yes, it is Funny. Does she need a license to get a .44?
Men - Yes, and I am paying attention to the moral of this story
Men - Yes
Men - No
0 Comments , 4 votes
Fresh from the Shower -
Posted:Apr 25, 2019 11:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2019 9:19 am
291 Views

Fresh from the Shower - part 1 is a true story.

Would you like to read part 2? '
There are thousands of people on Japanese lover.net. 25 yes votes gets part 2 published. So what do you say, should there be, 3 a part 2?

Please vote and share your thoughts - Thanks and have a wonderful day!
Women - YES, I can't wait to read Parts 2, 3 and 4
Women - YES, as wet as my pussy is I can't read it fast enough
Women - YES,
Women - No
Men - YES, I can't wait to read Parts 2, 3 and 4
Men - YES, as hard as my dick is I can't read it fast enough
Men - YES
Men - No
0 Comments , 2 votes
Fresh from the Shower - part 1
Posted:Apr 25, 2019 10:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2019 9:20 am
280 Views

She walked from the bathroom and stood in front of the television, still dripping wet from the shower. It made no difference to her that the playoffs were on. She handed me the bottle of an avocado and cucumber scented body soufflé – a thick lotion I always ordered for myself, but since trying it, she pretty much claimed it as her own. She walked toward me and I stood up.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“, nothing is wrong. I just don’t want you dripping all over the sofa”, I replied.

She looked me with a twinkle in her eye and responded, “You’ve never had a problem with me dripping all over the place before”, she said.

I bit my tongue. She was right. I knew it…and so did she. But this was a little different.

She placed her delicate hands on my shoulders and pushed me backwards step, , . Feeling the couch behind me, I sat down. She smiled. Lifting her dark mahogany leg. I kissed her knee. She placed her foot ever so gently on my quickly hardening dick. She laughed.

“You are so easy”, she said. “It sure doesn’t take much to get you hard.”

In my mind, my thoughts were, "It doesn't take much for YOU, to get me hard," but I kept silent. There was really nothing to say, so I didn’t say anything. After all she was right again. Her breasts did not feel as hard or full as I imagined they did in her 20s or 30s, althought it didn't matter to me. The laugh lines around her eyes are beautiful and arousing. There is just a touch of gray in the hair between her thighs, which made her glistening juices all the more apparent.

She moved her foot from my dick to my shoulders and her pouting lower lips with their full bush were almost on my own. I could smell her scent beginning to fill the air. It was heady and intoxicating. I looked up at her, a smile began forming as she strained to reach my lips, my tongue.

“Damn you” she said.

I laughed. Droplets of her juice were already gathering on the hairs of her gaping pussy lips. I slid my tongue out and moved my face closer to her. I licked my own lips, then sat back. She reached for my head trying to grab a head full of hair. As she reached for me, I brought the bottle of lotion up, blocking her. I laughed again as I listened to her muttering under her breath.

Placing lotion in the palm of my hand, I blew across it, warming it. Rubbing my hands together I reached for the crevice between her right thigh, allowing my knuckles to graze the droplets emanating from her. When the back of my hand touched her there, it was like grasping a wet sponge. She began dripping. My dick was throbbing. My desire for her was as apparent - she held the upper hand - and she knew it, again!.

Please vote and share your thoughts - Thanks and have a wonderful day!
0 Comments
Shoulda? Coulda? Woulda? - Eat Dat Pussy Today?
Posted:Apr 17, 2019 10:14 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2019 6:44 pm
608 Views

She calls and ask what are you doing? She says it doesn't matter what your doing she wants you come over and handle her pussy for her... She says eating only, she can't handle penetration right now. You agree, oral only. When you get there she is still dressed. You lead her to a chair, lift up her skirt and begin to eat her pussy.

Licking her large lips first...slowly, using a soft, but firm tongue....Moving into the center slowly, tracing each line, but never touching her clit.light, consistant strokes and circular patterns all over the pink engorged skin inside her pussy... You eat her pussy until she cums and cums some more... She begs you to stop, her head is spinning, she is weak and dizzy. Your face is dripping with her cum. She reaches for your dick as you get up.... You are hard. She says she wants your dick... no, she says she needs your dick..What happened to oral only?.... You didn't bring condoms because she said oral only..... what do you do?
Men - Fuck her Without a rubber
Men - Go down and try to eat her some more
Men - Run down to the store and buy some
Men - Say No, she said oral only and you made plans with someone else for penetration
Men - other-
Women - Let him fuck you without one
Women - Curse him out for not bringing one and masturbate yourself
Women - Check your drawers and hope you have some
Women - send his ass to the store to buy some for you
Women - other -
3 Comments , 28 votes
Well, There is that
Posted:Apr 16, 2019 9:11 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2019 1:16 am
461 Views

Why did I get divorced? He was asked....

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my .

I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office,

my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"

"Okay," I said.

She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my , my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

My wife stomped over to me and proceeded to stomp me. When I regained consciousness, the divorce papers were laying on my chest.
1 comment
She Said - Is this Funny?
Posted:Apr 16, 2019 9:03 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2019 11:46 am
502 Views

He asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Not Funny At All
Funny
1 comment , 14 votes
She's Got Jokes - But They Are Not Funny
Posted:Apr 16, 2019 9:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2019 11:48 am
453 Views

A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,

“Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, , a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”

“Onions?” the asks.

“Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated his wife and . The asks,
“Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”

The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” the asks.

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”, the mom replied.
2 Comments
She's Got Jokes - but what do you think?
Posted:Apr 16, 2019 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2019 8:50 pm
453 Views

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her walks in.
“Mother, where do babies from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says,

“Well dear, Mommy and fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”

The looks puzzled so the mother continues,

“ means the puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. ’s how you get a baby, honey.”

The seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had ’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do ?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.” the mother said
2 Comments
Ladies, Is there wrong way to eat your pussy - Eating Pussy - Part 2
Posted:Mar 18, 2019 2:36 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2019 11:51 am
497 Views

Ladies, Is there any wrong way to eat your pussy?
No, there is no wrong way to eat my pussy. Get down there, get comfortable and above al stay down there until I tell you to get
Yes, there is a wrong way to eat my pussy and here it is
Good question: Do you have time for the answer?
Fill in the blank
3 Comments , 3 votes
Ladies, Is there wrong way to eat your pussy - Eating Pussy - Part 2
Posted:Mar 18, 2019 2:23 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2019 6:59 pm
483 Views

Ladies, Is there any wrong way to eat your pussy?
No, there is no wrong way to eat my pussy. Get down there, get comfortable and above al stay down there until I tell you to get
Yes, there is a wrong way to eat my pussy and here it is
Good question: Do you have time for the answer?
Fill in the blank
0 Comments , 1 vote
Is There Any Wrong Way? Eating Pussy - Part 1
Posted:Mar 18, 2019 2:18 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2019 9:58 am
477 Views

Ladies, thank you for your patience. We guys generally think we know everything there is to know about giving a woman pleasure. We Don't! Ladies, how do you like your pussy eaten?
I hate when a man is eating my pussy and he does (fill in your own blank)
I tolerate when a man is eating my pussy, even if he is not good, because he is willing to try
I love when a man eats my pussy by (fill in your own blank)
0 Comments

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