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My Safe Word Is, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.  

CynicusMaximus 52M
398 posts
2/18/2019 5:35 am
My Safe Word Is, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.


I just watched 50 Shades of Grey..

I don't know what i was expecting, i flipped through the book already. I guess i thought the nudity and sex would be good tho.

My conclusion:
Anyone who likes these books and movies should be checked for a concussion.

I think the whole problem is that i do not identify with the culture. This is on me, i freely admit that.

You want to be punished? My first thought is to roll up a newspaper, grab you by the back of the neck, rub your nose in whatever, slap you over the head with said newspaper and give you a firm, NO.

Recently, there was a couple that liked my pics, left nice comments and then sent a message. Well, after i responded.. they apparently thought a green light was turned on and whoever was writing their response called me a Sissy Bitch.

Da Fuq, you just say?

What followed was this unapologetic description of their sex life complete with costume change breaks, tools and toys. They showed off their paddle and that's when the needle got ripped off the record album.

I'm not going to bend over and get paddled by N.E.ONE... AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO THINK THAT YOU CAN CALL ME ANY FUCKING NAMES??!! As soon as i heard, Sissy B-.... I'm sure that I'm throwing out a Karl Malone elbow by instinct alone.

Oh yeah.. 50 Shades of BLEHHHHHH.

My only question about the books really is... Where was the editor?? Unfiltered, i run into a lot the same mistakes... i write off the cuff and sometimes my stuff needs a little glossing up on the professional level to kill any redundancies add punctuaion and even resculpt a paragraph or two to clean up my wording.

What happened to the editor on 50 Shades?

Fan fiction will ALWAYS be fan fiction.

pagancountrygirl 66F
6466 posts
2/18/2019 3:10 pm

I love your safe word! That had me laughing. Of course, technically, it's more than one word. Minor detail...

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


CynicusMaximus replies on 2/18/2019 3:41 pm:
One word only???

A blood curdling scream is one word, right???

HoHowdy 62M
1279 posts
2/18/2019 6:25 pm

Ex girlfriend wanted me to watch the movie with her, sadly I fell asleep, I guess that says a lot about me, but having read the first book, I just was not enthused.


CynicusMaximus replies on 2/18/2019 8:12 pm:
That is a Fast Forward to th e naked bits kind of movie.

1HRT4U 52F
14 posts
2/19/2019 2:47 am

Hilarious review of the 50 Shades series. You apparently we're offered the bonus activity package for you to act out your fantasy. However, you are far from the sub they are seeking to discipline.

I personally have not read nor watched 50 Shades. My life is full already.

TY for your hilarious posts.

No

♥️💋


FMAOPLS 70F
27112 posts
3/28/2019 3:05 am

I always refer to this series of books as "Fifty Shades of She Doesn't Know Fuck All And Writes Like a 2 Year Old".

Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.


CynicusMaximus replies on 3/28/2019 5:16 am:
Lol, you speak the truth!!

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