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Choosing A Fling or a Relationship?  

sexyldy1000 68F  
10139 posts
2/20/2019 8:55 pm
Choosing A Fling or a Relationship?

He picked up her wine glass and filled it partway.

She accepted the glass from him, took a sip and then set it down. “We need to talk.”

“Really? About what?” he asked.

“About this,” she replied. She felt impatient with her own inability to express herself, even her own discomfort.

“What about it?” he cocked his head, his tone gentle, not challenging.

“I thought we were friends, colleagues. Are we starting something here? Are we trying to have some kind of relationship?” she implored. She could barely catch her breath yet had to continue, “You already said you don’t like to compromise. Well I don’t either. We aren’t anymore. Life is complicated. We can’t pretend that everything is easy.”

“I hear you,” he commented as he sipped his wine. “We are adults. We have jobs and responsibilities.”

She threw her hands up in frustration. “What are we doing here, really? What are you looking for? Seems the only thing that makes sense is a fling. Is that what you want…a fling?”

“No,” he answered quietly while setting down his wine glass. ”I don’t want a fling.”

“Then what? Just exactly what do you want?” she asked impatiently.

“Something real. Something serious. Something that lasts,” he responded very deliberately.

She sat still, barely able to breathe. It was just the answer she wanted and yet the one she feared the most. “I want the same thing,” she forced herself to say aloud although it wasn’t easy to be so vulnerable. “I am not looking for a fling or a one-night stand either. Those just aren’t worth the time or trouble.”

“I agree, they aren’t," he nodded.

“But what about the issue of compromising? Neither of us wants that.”

“I don’t have all the answers right now. I’m trying to figure this out. I didn’t know I wanted anything like this. At least, not until I met you.” His dark eyes looked deep into hers. “If you really want to know what I want, it’s a chance with you.”

“But you don’t even know me,” she stammered.

“What I know so far, I really like. I like how honest you are. I like how smart you are. I like that you are sexy. I like your passion about things other than yourself.”

He leaned over, staring at her through the candlelight, taking her soft hand in his. “I don’t expect this to be easy. You are not easy. But I think there is something unmistakable between us,”

She blinked in disbelief.

“Why not take a chance, on us?”

She knew then, that this was exactly what she wanted.

What are their chances of making it work?




sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/20/2019 8:57 pm

Deciding between a fling and wanting a relationship is complicated.


hrdallnght4u 67M

2/20/2019 9:19 pm

Yes it is but having that special Person is all so nice...

You can't expect to be Old & Wise..If You were never Young & Crazy!!!


BUCKSHOT5863 60M
38 posts
2/20/2019 9:39 pm

Nice story and charm the knickers off of them


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
2/20/2019 9:48 pm

I'll give them a 50, 50 shot. At least they're both willing to make a go of it, and that's a start.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/20/2019 9:51 pm

    Quoting hrdallnght4u:
    Yes it is but having that special Person is all so nice...
It does take 2.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/20/2019 9:53 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    I'll give them a 50, 50 shot. At least they're both willing to make a go of it, and that's a start.
That seems fair odds. It only has a chance if they both know and accept what they are getting themselves into.


HedonicHeathen 56M
198 posts
2/20/2019 11:53 pm

Well gee that is like what do I take 1/4th of the cake or half the cake or all 4 quarters?
.
should I take a bath at 70 degree temperature or at 105?
.
Should I ask her to be my wife, or should I start with asking her out?
.
Well the good thing about breaking the problems down into a polarity is that always the other, more desirable end that lives in a different world ....will always have to consist of imagination and be of pure thought .... or filthy desire projections.
.
So if the fling doesn't work out and instead he wants rather than to toss you ... you can always fall back on that relationship.
.
Saying he didn't know her? No One really knows another ... they can only know themselves ... if you feel they really really know you it just means that you aren't showing up and what they see are just their influence on you.
.
Maybe if you fall for Him you may wake up One day to realize it has all been nothing but a fling .... Would you rather wake up to realize the fling was the only relationship that mattered. I suspect that often both happen, but not in the same body, just in a shared move ... so more than a rom com ... a regular Romactiohorridy! A real buster of office boxes. Your novella reminded me of a song by Lou Reed:
.
Modern Dance
Maybe I should go and live in Amsterdam
In a side street in a big canal
Spend my evenings in the Van Gogh Museum
What a dream, Van Gogh Museum
Maybe its time to see Tangiers
A different life-style some different fears
And maybe I should be Edinburgh
In a kilt in Edinburgh
Doin' a modern dance
Doin' a modern dance
Or maybe I should get a farm in Southern France
Where the winds are wispy and the villagers dance
And you and I we'd sleep beneath a moon
Moon in June and sleep till noon
And maybe you and I could fall in love
Regain the spirit that we once had
You'd let me hold you and touch the night
That shines so bright, so bright with fright
Doin' a modern dance
Doin' a modern dance
Shit, maybe I could go to Yucatan
Where women are women, a man's a man
Ah, no one confused, ever loses place
With their place in the human race
Maybe I'm not cut out for city life
The smell of exhaust, the smell of strife
And maybe you don't want to be a wife
It's not a life being a wife
Doin' a modern dance
Doin' a modern dance
So maybe I should go to Tanganyika
Where the rivers run, down mountains tall and steep
Or go to India to study chants
And lose romance to a mantra's dance
I need a guru, I need some law
Explain to me the things we saw
Why it always comes to this
It's all downhill after the first kiss
Maybe I should move to Rotterdam
Maybe move to Amsterdam
I should move to Ireland, Italy, Spain
Afghanistan where there is no rain
Or maybe I should just learn a modern dance
Where roles are shifting the modern dance
You never touch you don't know who you're with
This week, this month, this time of year
This week, this month, this time of year
Doin' a modern dance
You don't know who you're with modern dance
I should move to Pakistan, go to Afghanistan
Dance, you don't know who you're with
Dance, you don't know who you're with
Modern dance
And maybe you don't want to be a wife
It's not life being a wife
Doin' a modern dance
You never touch you don't know who you're with
Dance, modern dance
The roles are shifting dance
You never touch you don't know who you're with
Dance, modern dance
Maybe you don't want to be a wife


Aaausieguy448 60M

2/21/2019 12:48 am

i agree, more please


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/21/2019 12:51 am

    Quoting BUCKSHOT5863:
    Nice story and charm the knickers off of them
Yes that could end up happening too


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/21/2019 12:54 am

HedonicHeathen...thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective and the song.


CynicusMaximus 52M
1844 posts
2/21/2019 2:11 am

Personally, if she were ruminating that much.. i might have to ask hr if this really what she wants and/or go home until she figures it out. I admit work place romances can be stressful at times, mostly stressful with the added fish bowl aspect of having the office staff watching and gossiping..

I give her two months before she gets cold feet and leaves...


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/21/2019 4:36 am

    Quoting CynicusMaximus:
    Personally, if she were ruminating that much.. i might have to ask hr if this really what she wants and/or go home until she figures it out. I admit work place romances can be stressful at times, mostly stressful with the added fish bowl aspect of having the office staff watching and gossiping..

    I give her two months before she gets cold feet and leaves...
Yes. Workplace romances can be difficult to navigate and sustain.
Thanks 🙏 for stopping by and providing your perspective.


TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
2/21/2019 5:02 am

"Colleagues"

That says it all. No bueno.

Plus... he tried to be vague about what he wanted. She called him out on being vague. So he said what he knew she wanted to hear without committing to anything. Now he's babbling to get into her pants. That's just my take on it. I'm a cynical kinda gal in these situations.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/21/2019 5:20 am

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    "Colleagues"

    That says it all. No bueno.

    Plus... he tried to be vague about what he wanted. She called him out on being vague. So he said what he knew she wanted to hear without committing to anything. Now he's babbling to get into her pants. That's just my take on it. I'm a cynical kinda gal in these situations.
Yes...there are all kinds of ‘warning signs’.
Thanks for dropping by and commenting.


Solfan55 69M
500 posts
2/21/2019 9:16 am

Are the warning signs and the potential of failure part of what makes it so exciting for her? The chance to take a chance with him and turn it into a sustainable relationship? Some of us are fixers and can't help but see the potential over the downside.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/21/2019 9:28 am

    Quoting Solfan55:
    Are the warning signs and the potential of failure part of what makes it so exciting for her? The chance to take a chance with him and turn it into a sustainable relationship? Some of us are fixers and can't help but see the potential over the downside.
That’s an astute observation and analysis.
Thank you 🙏 for dropping by and sharing your perspective.


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
2/21/2019 9:40 am

I think they both want a relationship with one another but neither one knows how to start it off. I think communication is always the best way and being honest and trusting. Good luck I hope it works out..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/21/2019 10:36 am

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    I think they both want a relationship with one another but neither one knows how to start it off. I think communication is always the best way and being honest and trusting. Good luck I hope it works out..
Communication is such a fundamental essential yet many find it so difficult.


easy_going2014 57M
14366 posts
2/21/2019 7:48 pm

Hi sexyldy1000.

thanks for sharing this story.

I've not looked at it from a fling point of view in awhile...

hmm...

Radiohead - "All I Need"

I'm the next act
Waiting in the wings
I'm an animal
Trapped in your parked car
I am holidays
That you choose to ignore
You are all I need
You are all I need
I'm in the middle of your picture
Lying in the leaves
I am a moth
Who just wants to share your light
I'm just an insect
Trying to get out of the night...

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/21/2019 8:23 pm

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    Hi sexyldy1000.

    thanks for sharing this story.

    I've not looked at it from a fling point of view in awhile...

    hmm...

    Radiohead - "All I Need"

    I'm the next act
    Waiting in the wings
    I'm an animal
    Trapped in your parked car
    I am holidays
    That you choose to ignore
    You are all I need
    You are all I need
    I'm in the middle of your picture
    Lying in the leaves
    I am a moth
    Who just wants to share your light
    I'm just an insect
    Trying to get out of the night...
Always good to stop and pause to think 🤔 about things. Would be great to be considered as someone’s ‘all they need’.


HedonicHeathen 56M
198 posts
2/24/2019 8:31 am

    Quoting sexyldy1000:
    HedonicHeathen...thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective and the song.
You are welcome ... I wish I could post outside the site's domain images ... cuz I got a great one in response to your signature "Stimulate my mind and the possibilities are endless"
.
A cartoon of two school age boys exiting math class ... one says to the other ... "I found that after I put a slash through the equal sign that the number of possible answers greatly expands."
.
Well that might be relatively helpful .. you know how helpful those relatives are ... The golden rule is respect in the main aspect, but right minded may realize that correlation does not imply causation. Turning 'imply' into a one gets a term like ?
'implicature' ... which is a great word. I like that word .. even if I sound imimplicature in that declaration. Ok enough metabating ... as always thanks for providing something I'd want to write a reply to.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
2/24/2019 10:44 am

    Quoting HedonicHeathen:
    You are welcome ... I wish I could post outside the site's domain images ... cuz I got a great one in response to your signature "Stimulate my mind and the possibilities are endless"
    .
    A cartoon of two school age boys exiting math class ... one says to the other ... "I found that after I put a slash through the equal sign that the number of possible answers greatly expands."
    .
    Well that might be relatively helpful .. you know how helpful those relatives are ... The golden rule is respect in the main aspect, but right minded may realize that correlation does not imply causation. Turning 'imply' into a one gets a term like ?
    'implicature' ... which is a great word. I like that word .. even if I sound imimplicature in that declaration. Ok enough metabating ... as always thanks for providing something I'd want to write a reply to.
I have a pretty good imagination so I am visualizing that cartoon and smiling.
It's always a delight when someone reads an item on my blog that inspires them to respond. Stay tune...more on the way


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